I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
