No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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