This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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