I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
