curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
