i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
