return my video game
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
