i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
