this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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