There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
