So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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