Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
