I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
