Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
