My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
