My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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