I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
