Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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