O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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