P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
