just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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