giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize