$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
