Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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