She announced her abortion via fbk
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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