You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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