By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
