i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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