Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
