it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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