I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
