Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
