is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
