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Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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