He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Did I show you my penis last night?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
