Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
