he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
His hands were made for my vagina.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
