why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
