But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
apparently the secret to your success is patron
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
