I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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