i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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