So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
