look no pants
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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