Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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