He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
