people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
