I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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