I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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