I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
