His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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