I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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