What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
